Leroy did not care for his name and he stated it was given to him by way of one of his sisters.She had a beau at the time whose name was leroy and I suppose it was popular in that day.He despised his name and was known to most by "ROY" and was adamant that those in his immediate family be given "normal" names that would not bring ridicule.He likened this name to a black person and was ridiculed for it when younger.He was a man of many contrasts.He was addicted to gambling on the horses since he was 18 or so and this addiction would be part of his entire life leaving a detrimental mark on his family by way of uncontrollable tempers, violence, and resentment toward his family.Yes, there was a side of him that was the "good" father always spending his Sunday mornings in the front pew at Holy Redeemer Church partaking in a fine Sunday routine lunch with his children and then spending the rest of the day on outings devoting that day to his family.His wife was never involved in any of this as she went off to work in order to escape the constant underlying unhappiness of their marriage/family life and would go on to escape further thru affairs and outside alliances that he may or may not have known about. My guess is that he did know. He was a hard worker committed to his responsibility of taking care of his children and family/household.I cannot remember ever going without although I am told the early years of our family were wrought with hiding from bookies coming to collect and taking loans from his mother, Louise Gebler, in order to get out of his debt caused by gambling on the horses.His entire life, to me, was a huge contradictory.On one hand you had this responsible family man who worked hard and put an adequate roof over our heads/paid his bills on time/and was good to his word.The other side was the gambler who had extreme mood swings who threw our belongings out on the front lawn telling us to "get out" and gambled on the horses spending 3 to 4 hours a day, at least, concentrating on his betting choices.To the day he died he gambled and lied about it but he also left us three children with thousands of dollars in an inheritance and left this earth owing nobody leaving his name in good-standing. Perhaps it is only us few on the inside of the home that knew the real story.His plight for church every Sunday was more obligation than benefit as he told me a few years before he died that he never got one iota out of it and probably went in order to lessen his guilt about the darker side of his personality.His father dies when we was 9 so I would imagine growing up without a father prompted him to be more responsible toward his children then he may have been otherwise.His older brothers lived lives fueled with sorry and trouble.Barney hung himself in his sisters garage because the mafia was threatening to harm his wife and two twin daughters because of his outstanding debt owed to gambling on horses. Oscar lived with his mother until the day she was put in a nursing home, around 70 or 80 something. He drank and had a severe alcohol problem all his life along with gambling on the horses.He was known as the town drunk as I was growing up and landed in jail on more than one occasion for disorderly conduct.He was known for going into the jewish candy store in town when he was drunk and yelling to them that "the kaiser would have his day again!" This was not taken to kindly and off the jail he would go.Ironically I have recently found out that Gebler may be of Jewish ORIGIN!!!Other times we walked over him going up the stairs to the Long Island Railroad off to work in the morning...................we pretended not to know who he was..........................this makes me sad now.He was known affectionatly as "Otts" to my father, his brother.Roy was reasonably close with his other brother, my uncle Joe who was famous to my memory for calling every Saturday three sheets to the wind via the phone and telling me, "Your looking well!" Uncle Joe!!!! What do you mean? You cannot even see me would be my responce! Little did I know that so many years later after his death this would be an actuality of life, being able to see those who are calling you, skype. He would call to discuss horses and check in with my father.When their mother died, Louise, my Grandma Gebler.........my fathern would find Oscar in the driveway of his home where he lived with Grandma chopping up all of her antique furniture.My father would often take Pennsylvania Ave. to work at the brewery and pass by his mothers home.Shortly after she died "Otts" thought it would be a good idea to chop up all this expensive antique furniture and sell it for firewood.When my father found him chopping away he was livid.I never got the antique desk that my Grandma promised to me..............but I guess it is nice to know that somebody was warmed by it through use of their fireplace!!! My dad had a sister that lived three blocks away but for some reason we were not close to them.She was his younger sister and married a man of ethnicity and I know for a fact, sadly, this was looked down upon by the family.I loved my Aunt Terry and Uncle Armondo.I myself would go onto have a yen for men of mexican/spanish authentication. I guess this is one thing I can say my Aunt Terry and I had in common, we liked our men dark with a bit of an accent! I am sad to say that I never got as close to Aunt Terry and her family as I had always longed to. I also think my mother played some sought of role in the distance we had with my fathers biological family as they thought my father married below his standards.....which in fact the reality is that he did. Lorraine Wallace Gebler, my fathers wife and mother, came from a family that was dirt poor often, grew up in the city of New York and "Hicksville" and her father was a raging alcholic when she was younger who worked on the railroads.Her mother and my "granny" was in a wheelchair most of my mothers life due to??? Polio I think............but I am not sure......................
Lorraine Wallace Gebler (Cookie) came from the wrong side of the tracks where as "ROY" grew up with tons of money living next to families such as Pickfords and Fords.Roy's father was a brewmaster in the 20's in the U.S. which at that time prior to computers, etc, was a highly regarded position.There marriage was full of strife and I will always wonder if they were really ever in love with each other.........................I do not ever remember seeing them hug or be affecionate, EVER, but I do remember her telling him to go "sleep" with his horses and him yelling out the windows of our suburban home that she was a no good tramp and fat disgusting s***.
Hence, church on Sundays for him and affairs at work for her and this is how they dealt with this.
This wreaked havoc on my life.......I went from hiding under the bed when they would fight crying to have them stop...............to leaving home at 13 and living a wild and carefree life never really wanting to be around them or look back..........Roy threw me out of the house when I was 16 because I was doing drugs and not coming home on school nights.....................in my mind, the mind of a 16 year old..........he did me a favor because now I could do all that I wanted without having to deal with them!
Now as an adult with three children one of which is around 16 I cannot imagine throwing them on to the street and I wonder what he was thinking as a parent..............later in life I would long for him to tell me, I am sorry Joyce for the strife that your mother and I caused you when you were younger, and I am sorry that I always blamed you for being wayward rather than acknowledging my part in the demise of your young life." That would never come...............
The last time I saw him before he died I got down on my knees and looked him in the eyes and said........"Dad, I love you, I really do.................." longing for him to show me the emotion and sorry for his actions when I was younger that he bestowed on my young emotional state..........his answer to me telling him I love him? "Thank you."................................................................................
I never got what I needed.........................and cry right now writing about this.................
I am done.
Joyce Gebler Jeffers single mother of three great kids who are the first generation to break all that negative behavior.....................no husband or man in my life......CAN YOU WONDER WHY?
If you are a Gebler I would like to hear from you.
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