Tracine Duncan-Dorner
My Greatest Influence
Joyce Ruger, Whom I knew as Joyce Wood when we first met back in 1970, when I was 10 years old, was the Mother of Jennifer Wood (Gomez). Jennifer was in my homeroom class at Marina Jr.High School, in S.F., and we soon became best friends, for life.
My Mother, Barbara, was single, and a bartender, and I, am only child. So, I was left home alone most nights.
Joyce, who I’ve always called Mom, and will hereafter refer to her as such, soon took me under her wings. I stayed at Jenny’s house most nights, and soon became another member of Joyce, Jenny, and Joyce’s Son Jeffrey’s, extended family.
Staying at Jenny’s house provided me with stability, unconditional love, companionship, and normalcy in comparison to being a “latch-key” kid, at my own home. Joyce (Mom), was working for United Airlines at the time, and was a reservations agent, by phone, down at the Wharf located in the famous Ghirardelli Building, in S.F.
Jenny, and I would often go see Mom after school, and be treated to an ice cream sundae at Farrell’s, then go play at the Macy’s. We would go from one living area exhibit to another, pretending that we were in our home as adults, with fancy furniture, and home decor.
We loved to listen to Mom helping people with reservations, as she was incredibly humorous, and friendly, endearing herself to most callers.
There is SO much to tell you about how Joyce, and her family enriched my life. But, I’m afraid it would be a novel.
Mom eventually retired from United Airlines, and became an adept real estate broker. She married, and divorced Donald Ruger, and lived in, and owned, some exceptional Victorian homes.
She collected everything from Ertè statues, and artwork, to Fabergè eggs, drove an older, classic Jaguar XJ6, and sported an array of expensive jewelery. She was quite a character, and a real class act.
During 1996, Jennifer fell suddenly ill, and was rushed to hospital, where a coma was induced. She had Pancreatic failure, unbeknownst to any of us, Jenny included.
Over the years Mom’s Son, Jeffrey, had alienated himself by continually lying, and stealing from Mom, and Jenny was, she felt, her only existing birth child. Jenny, and Mom had always been very, very close. They did everything together. We all stayed by Jennifer’s bedside praying for her recovery, to no avail. We were together when the machines were turned off, 2 weeks later.
My 3 yr. old Daughter, Eve, and I, stayed with Mom, for the next 2 months, doing what we could to help her through this horribly traumatic time. We were both utterly devastated.
Over the next year, Mom would continually say that she wanted to be with Jenny. That she had lost the will to live, and she didn’t know how, or when, but that she knew that within 2 years time, she would be with Jenny.
I would constantly try to lift her spirits, and tell her that she was ridiculous. That she still had a lot of life to live, and to stop thinking that way. But, she was very matter-of-fact. She said she just somehow knew that she would be with Jenny before long. This was in 1996.
I had moved to Oregon, during 1996, and had a Son, Maxx. I visited Mom when I could, and we talked weekly by phone.
In August of 1998, I received a call I will never forget.
Jennifer’s Daughter, Christina, called to tell me that Mom had been murdered, in her home.
A man by the name of Troy Hayles, had befriended Mom, and although he was never charged with her murder, he was convicted of being in possession of her personal belongings, and credit cards. He served only 15 years of a 25-to-life sentence.
This happened within the 2 year time, Mom said she’d be with Jenny. Somehow, I receive a little solace in knowing that she was where she hoped that she’d be.
Joyce Ruger was a Saint among mortals…a fiery, feisty, force of pure good, and strength.
I am who I am today, because of her, and I will carry forth her memory, and Jenny’s, til the end of my days.
I love you Mom…thank you.
Tracine Duncan-Dorner
My Mother, Barbara, was single, and a bartender, and I, am only child. So, I was left home alone most nights.
Joyce, who I’ve always called Mom, and will hereafter refer to her as such, soon took me under her wings. I stayed at Jenny’s house most nights, and soon became another member of Joyce, Jenny, and Joyce’s Son Jeffrey’s, extended family.
Staying at Jenny’s house provided me with stability, unconditional love, companionship, and normalcy in comparison to being a “latch-key” kid, at my own home. Joyce (Mom), was working for United Airlines at the time, and was a reservations agent, by phone, down at the Wharf located in the famous Ghirardelli Building, in S.F.
Jenny, and I would often go see Mom after school, and be treated to an ice cream sundae at Farrell’s, then go play at the Macy’s. We would go from one living area exhibit to another, pretending that we were in our home as adults, with fancy furniture, and home decor.
We loved to listen to Mom helping people with reservations, as she was incredibly humorous, and friendly, endearing herself to most callers.
There is SO much to tell you about how Joyce, and her family enriched my life. But, I’m afraid it would be a novel.
Mom eventually retired from United Airlines, and became an adept real estate broker. She married, and divorced Donald Ruger, and lived in, and owned, some exceptional Victorian homes.
She collected everything from Ertè statues, and artwork, to Fabergè eggs, drove an older, classic Jaguar XJ6, and sported an array of expensive jewelery. She was quite a character, and a real class act.
During 1996, Jennifer fell suddenly ill, and was rushed to hospital, where a coma was induced. She had Pancreatic failure, unbeknownst to any of us, Jenny included.
Over the years Mom’s Son, Jeffrey, had alienated himself by continually lying, and stealing from Mom, and Jenny was, she felt, her only existing birth child. Jenny, and Mom had always been very, very close. They did everything together. We all stayed by Jennifer’s bedside praying for her recovery, to no avail. We were together when the machines were turned off, 2 weeks later.
My 3 yr. old Daughter, Eve, and I, stayed with Mom, for the next 2 months, doing what we could to help her through this horribly traumatic time. We were both utterly devastated.
Over the next year, Mom would continually say that she wanted to be with Jenny. That she had lost the will to live, and she didn’t know how, or when, but that she knew that within 2 years time, she would be with Jenny.
I would constantly try to lift her spirits, and tell her that she was ridiculous. That she still had a lot of life to live, and to stop thinking that way. But, she was very matter-of-fact. She said she just somehow knew that she would be with Jenny before long. This was in 1996.
I had moved to Oregon, during 1996, and had a Son, Maxx. I visited Mom when I could, and we talked weekly by phone.
In August of 1998, I received a call I will never forget.
Jennifer’s Daughter, Christina, called to tell me that Mom had been murdered, in her home.
A man by the name of Troy Hayles, had befriended Mom, and although he was never charged with her murder, he was convicted of being in possession of her personal belongings, and credit cards. He served only 15 years of a 25-to-life sentence.
This happened within the 2 year time, Mom said she’d be with Jenny. Somehow, I receive a little solace in knowing that she was where she hoped that she’d be.
Joyce Ruger was a Saint among mortals…a fiery, feisty, force of pure good, and strength.
I am who I am today, because of her, and I will carry forth her memory, and Jenny’s, til the end of my days.
I love you Mom…thank you.
Tracine Duncan-Dorner
