Honor Thy Father – A son’s memories of his dad
Clarence Bernard Adams Born: June 15, 1923 – November 16, 2008
His Eulogy was delivered by his son Alexander J. Adams on November 21, 2008
1
When I’m in the solitude of silence, I think of my parents. Eight months ago, I did not think I would be in this place speaking to you about my father. He suffered a stroke eight months to the day of my mother’s death. Prior to that, he spent his days enjoying his grand children, visiting family and close friends and quietly remembering the 61 years married
to our mother. Recently, he told a long time neighbor how much he missed her, something he kept from his children. But that’s the kind of man he was.
Over the past two weeks, many friends and family members have expressed concern and sent messages about how my dad affected their lives, especially his grand daughter Danielle. His last words to her were, "you are on the ball granddaughter, and you always make sure that I
have what I need.” He touched the lives of so many people who became special to him. Each of you has touched his life in many special ways. And for that my family is grateful.
My parents are part of what Tom Brokaw called in his book “The Greatest Generation”, the people who survived the great depression. He also survived World War II, America during the 1950’s, the lost of his father and mother in 1962 and 1970 respectively, Hurricane Betsy in 1965, the closing of the JAX Brewery during the 1970’s where he worked for over 25 years, the flooding of his home at least 4 times I can remember, Hurricane Katrina, and finally, his greatest lost, the lost of his wife of 61 years earlier this year.
The unfortunate thing about my dad is that like many men of his generation, he did not always share his feelings. But we knew he had them. He may not have always expressed them in words, but he truly expressed them in deeds. For many years, he worked two jobs to
care for his family and educate his sons. Both my parents made many sacrifices so their children would not want for anything. But most importantly, he provided us with guidance by example and every time we needed him for any reason, he was there for all of us.
Honor Thy Father – A son’s memories of his dad
During a time when he and our mother should really be enjoying their golden years, my father was the primary caregiver for his ailing wife. He took care of mom for over five years and wanted no assistance from anyone. He felt it was his responsibility. I was standing next to him when he so touchingly said goodbye to his wife as she was laid to rest. His expression of love was so touching; I was moved to the tears. This was out of character for my dad.
After overcoming these traumatic events, the best word to describe my father would be resilient. Like many men of his generation, we may never see the likes of them again. But my dad was also friendly with an easygoing way. In my career, I met three U.S. presidents, several heads of foreign nations, CEO’s of major corporations, and many entertainment
celebrities. None of them were more impressive to me then my father. He taught me that a man is not measured by the strength of his arms, but by the strength of his character, his love of family, and how he handles his responsibilities.
When I was about 6 years old, I was nearly injured when my dad's car door opened suddenly while making a left turn on Claiborne Avenue. I wasn't hurt, but I saw the look on his face as I was flying out the door. He caught me and held my arm until he could safely stop the car. I could have been killed. This is not the only time he came to my rescue. One year after
I moved to a new home in East New Orleans, I was transferred to Atlanta, kicking and scratching all the way. I was not happy. My father talked me into what proved to by one of the best decisions I’ve made during my life. He also offered to help me in anyway he could should I need it.
Like his father, my dad loved to tell stories about his time in the army during World War II, and my grandfather's who served in the army during World War I. When I was a young boy, I learned more about that part of American history from the two of them then I learned in
school at the time. Their stories were funny, entertaining, and real related to the true horror of war, and the way they were treated as second-class citizens while severing their country. However, they both endured.
Today, we celebrate his life; Clarence or “Zip” as many friends knew him. As a friend recently told me, “Alex, you’re a man who has never met a stranger.” This is an inherited trait from my father. All of his sons have this open receptiveness to people. My father knew more about current events than anyone I know. He read the entire daily newspaper from start
to finish. Sometimes he’d call me in Atlanta to bring me up to date on what was happening in New Orleans and the rest of the world. He kept himself informed to the end. Just before he died, he traveled to Convent and Donaldsonville, visiting my mother’s sisters; still full of laughter, smiles and still mobile. This is something not always possible for many people his
age.
He really enjoyed music. His favorites were Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Cannonball Adderly, Nat King Cole, John Coltrane, and in recent years, Phil Collins. (I guess I’ll have to add Clark Knighten to the list.) His favorite movies were The Guns of Navarone and The Magnificent
Seven. He took all of us to see the latter film at the Lincoln Theater in 1960. I’ve never forgotten this wonderful evening with my family.
He was proud of his all his sons. I remember when I was a Boy Scout while dressed in my uniform, covered with badges and awards he commented, "Boy you have more gold braid than a French Admiral." Then he smiled. I know what that meant and saw the pride on his
face.
Finally, when I was 41, I was invited to his annual New Years Day dinner at his neighbor’s house. It was great! They give me such a hard time. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I when anyway. These seven men would watch all the bowl games, eat the feast prepared by Mrs. Alexander and tell stories. The stories were so funny. The host Mr. Alexander told me, “I guess the boy is old enough to hang with us.”
My dad did not have much formal education, but he managed to provide for his family and send all of his son to college if we choose to go, and he gave us everything we needed and most of what we wanted. My friends thought we had so much, but the most important thing we had were parents that loved us. To me that’s priceless.
We tend to appreciate our parent more as we get older. I know I do. His stead guidance has been there throughout my life. Things I’ve learned from my father: responsibility, integrity, work ethic, resilience, dependability, and for me, my personal favorite, tenacity.
As a society, we should all remember to look to the elders for guidance. For they have wisdom gained over a lifetime and many of years of experience. And never make the mistake of thinking that today is a rehearsal for tomorrow. If you want something out of life, you
must be prepared to make sacrifices like our parents did.
Something I truly believe, people don’t die as long as we remember them. We keep them in our hearts and mines. We see them on to faces of their loved ones, and if we have faith, we will see them again.
To paraphrase Senator Edward Kennedy when giving his brother Robert Kennedy’s eulogy 40 years ago,
...My father need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who worked hard, loved his family, and dreamed that his sons would do better than he in life.
Now my father is re-united with my mother, and I’m sure God has blessed them both. Speaking not only for myself, my brothers and I are honored to have had two wonderful parents for so many years, and may they both rest in peace.
Clarence Bernard Adams Born: June 15, 1923 – November 16, 2008
His Eulogy was delivered by his son Alexander J. Adams on November 21, 2008
Clarence Bernard Adams Born: June 15, 1923 – November 16, 2008
His Eulogy was delivered by his son Alexander J. Adams on November 21, 2008
1
When I’m in the solitude of silence, I think of my parents. Eight months ago, I did not think I would be in this place speaking to you about my father. He suffered a stroke eight months to the day of my mother’s death. Prior to that, he spent his days enjoying his grand children, visiting family and close friends and quietly remembering the 61 years married
to our mother. Recently, he told a long time neighbor how much he missed her, something he kept from his children. But that’s the kind of man he was.
Over the past two weeks, many friends and family members have expressed concern and sent messages about how my dad affected their lives, especially his grand daughter Danielle. His last words to her were, "you are on the ball granddaughter, and you always make sure that I
have what I need.” He touched the lives of so many people who became special to him. Each of you has touched his life in many special ways. And for that my family is grateful.
My parents are part of what Tom Brokaw called in his book “The Greatest Generation”, the people who survived the great depression. He also survived World War II, America during the 1950’s, the lost of his father and mother in 1962 and 1970 respectively, Hurricane Betsy in 1965, the closing of the JAX Brewery during the 1970’s where he worked for over 25 years, the flooding of his home at least 4 times I can remember, Hurricane Katrina, and finally, his greatest lost, the lost of his wife of 61 years earlier this year.
The unfortunate thing about my dad is that like many men of his generation, he did not always share his feelings. But we knew he had them. He may not have always expressed them in words, but he truly expressed them in deeds. For many years, he worked two jobs to
care for his family and educate his sons. Both my parents made many sacrifices so their children would not want for anything. But most importantly, he provided us with guidance by example and every time we needed him for any reason, he was there for all of us.
Honor Thy Father – A son’s memories of his dad
During a time when he and our mother should really be enjoying their golden years, my father was the primary caregiver for his ailing wife. He took care of mom for over five years and wanted no assistance from anyone. He felt it was his responsibility. I was standing next to him when he so touchingly said goodbye to his wife as she was laid to rest. His expression of love was so touching; I was moved to the tears. This was out of character for my dad.
After overcoming these traumatic events, the best word to describe my father would be resilient. Like many men of his generation, we may never see the likes of them again. But my dad was also friendly with an easygoing way. In my career, I met three U.S. presidents, several heads of foreign nations, CEO’s of major corporations, and many entertainment
celebrities. None of them were more impressive to me then my father. He taught me that a man is not measured by the strength of his arms, but by the strength of his character, his love of family, and how he handles his responsibilities.
When I was about 6 years old, I was nearly injured when my dad's car door opened suddenly while making a left turn on Claiborne Avenue. I wasn't hurt, but I saw the look on his face as I was flying out the door. He caught me and held my arm until he could safely stop the car. I could have been killed. This is not the only time he came to my rescue. One year after
I moved to a new home in East New Orleans, I was transferred to Atlanta, kicking and scratching all the way. I was not happy. My father talked me into what proved to by one of the best decisions I’ve made during my life. He also offered to help me in anyway he could should I need it.
Like his father, my dad loved to tell stories about his time in the army during World War II, and my grandfather's who served in the army during World War I. When I was a young boy, I learned more about that part of American history from the two of them then I learned in
school at the time. Their stories were funny, entertaining, and real related to the true horror of war, and the way they were treated as second-class citizens while severing their country. However, they both endured.
Today, we celebrate his life; Clarence or “Zip” as many friends knew him. As a friend recently told me, “Alex, you’re a man who has never met a stranger.” This is an inherited trait from my father. All of his sons have this open receptiveness to people. My father knew more about current events than anyone I know. He read the entire daily newspaper from start
to finish. Sometimes he’d call me in Atlanta to bring me up to date on what was happening in New Orleans and the rest of the world. He kept himself informed to the end. Just before he died, he traveled to Convent and Donaldsonville, visiting my mother’s sisters; still full of laughter, smiles and still mobile. This is something not always possible for many people his
age.
He really enjoyed music. His favorites were Count Basie, Duke Ellington, Cannonball Adderly, Nat King Cole, John Coltrane, and in recent years, Phil Collins. (I guess I’ll have to add Clark Knighten to the list.) His favorite movies were The Guns of Navarone and The Magnificent
Seven. He took all of us to see the latter film at the Lincoln Theater in 1960. I’ve never forgotten this wonderful evening with my family.
He was proud of his all his sons. I remember when I was a Boy Scout while dressed in my uniform, covered with badges and awards he commented, "Boy you have more gold braid than a French Admiral." Then he smiled. I know what that meant and saw the pride on his
face.
Finally, when I was 41, I was invited to his annual New Years Day dinner at his neighbor’s house. It was great! They give me such a hard time. I’m not much of a sports fan, but I when anyway. These seven men would watch all the bowl games, eat the feast prepared by Mrs. Alexander and tell stories. The stories were so funny. The host Mr. Alexander told me, “I guess the boy is old enough to hang with us.”
My dad did not have much formal education, but he managed to provide for his family and send all of his son to college if we choose to go, and he gave us everything we needed and most of what we wanted. My friends thought we had so much, but the most important thing we had were parents that loved us. To me that’s priceless.
We tend to appreciate our parent more as we get older. I know I do. His stead guidance has been there throughout my life. Things I’ve learned from my father: responsibility, integrity, work ethic, resilience, dependability, and for me, my personal favorite, tenacity.
As a society, we should all remember to look to the elders for guidance. For they have wisdom gained over a lifetime and many of years of experience. And never make the mistake of thinking that today is a rehearsal for tomorrow. If you want something out of life, you
must be prepared to make sacrifices like our parents did.
Something I truly believe, people don’t die as long as we remember them. We keep them in our hearts and mines. We see them on to faces of their loved ones, and if we have faith, we will see them again.
To paraphrase Senator Edward Kennedy when giving his brother Robert Kennedy’s eulogy 40 years ago,
...My father need not be idealized, or enlarged in death beyond what he was in life, to be remembered simply as a good and decent man, who worked hard, loved his family, and dreamed that his sons would do better than he in life.
Now my father is re-united with my mother, and I’m sure God has blessed them both. Speaking not only for myself, my brothers and I are honored to have had two wonderful parents for so many years, and may they both rest in peace.
Clarence Bernard Adams Born: June 15, 1923 – November 16, 2008
His Eulogy was delivered by his son Alexander J. Adams on November 21, 2008
