Theresa L Platt

Hello Susie...my name is Robert...I am Theresa's ex-husband...I am glad that Theresa had you as a friend. She didn't make or keep friends easily...and she had a tendency to distance herself from her family as well. I read your comments regarding Theresa and how you felt guilty about not seeing what was coming. Please, don't feel guilty about something no one saw coming...no one saw it...not even the family members she was closest to. Very few people are equipped to deal with the issues that Theresa was dealing with...and even the trained professionals sometimes get it wrong. Besides, Theresa's issues began long before even I met her...her family life growing up wasn't good...very unstable, chaotic and sometimes violent family atmosphere. I mainly blame her parents for alot of what she went through...but that's another story.
Please don't feel guilty about not seeing what was to come. You don't deserve that...you were there for her, and that says alot. You can honor her memory by living the best life that you can, always try to do the right thing, and treasure the memories...the good times...that you had with her.
I wish you all the best.
Regards

Robert M.
Sierra Vista, AZ

Wow, I'm in tears right now reading this reply! THANK YOU so much from my heart for replying and explaining things that I did not know. I haven't been on here lately because I never thought I'd get a reply. I definitely know she didn't make friends easily. When I was hired at the casino in 2000 we were cool with each other pretty quickly. I, like her didn't make friends too easily, but we could see we were similar in some ways so we hit it off. Even though we only hung out a few times outside of work, she was like the sister I never had. She made an impact on my life and I'll never ever forget her. She said I was her sister soul mate and I remember our very last conversation...,, but didn't find out about her death until almost 3 years later. I had text her and called her and search for her for that long and then I found out through the Internet and I was completely shattered. I still think about her very often after all these years. I want to sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for replying because no one ever has replied and I've just been left with so many questions without answers and so much guilt. If you ever want to talk please let me know. 💔 Thanks again Robert!

Susie-
You are very welcome...and after you read what I wrote, I certainly hope that you are doing better. Sometimes things happen in this life that we have no control over...with the issues that Theresa was dealing with, I have to honestly admit that I was clueless...had I actually known what was going on with her, maybe I could have handled things differently and gotten her the help that she needed (quite a while after we separated she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder w/clinical depression), but without knowing what was going on at the time with her, I emotionally checked out of the marriage due to her wild mood swings and erratic behavior...and her behaviors eventually caused us to split up. Unfortunately for me, her family has largely blamed me for all of Theresa's ills, and after she passed they even blamed me for how she died (and when she died we were already separated 10 years!)...and my daughters bought into all of that, and now it's been over 11 years since I've heard from or seen either of them. I don't know what causes families to act this way...my own family questions (to this day) what exactly I did to deserve what I got. I just don't get it. It could be because I moved on after Theresa and I divorced...she was not happy that I met and married someone else (that marriage ended recently also). I stopped thinking about all of that some time ago, it doesn't do any good to speculate about something I have no idea about. I know one thing...in spite of everything, I tried my best with what I had. I don't know...maybe Theresa would have been better off never having met me. I'll never know.
I wish you all the best, Susie. Write back if you desire to. Regards...Robert.

Robert, I'm so sorry that you had to endure all of that blame. 😞 I have actually thought the same thing that may be if I had known what was going on and I could've gotten her help but, Mental illness is a serious thing. If someone has these type of end-of-life plans there's nothing anyone can say to talk them out of it. As I look back to some of the things she did and said when we worked together I can definitely understand that she had a mental illness. Theresa and I just clicked pretty easily because we had the same type of humor and she was very caring with certain people.
I remember searching for her for so long because we would never go very long without talking to each other (May be a month to a few months tops) But we would always chitchat and catch up with each other. When I couldn't find her anywhere I said this is just crazy we always talk and then when I found out on one of the people search sites that she died in 2007 I just couldn't believe what I was reading. (I had periodically searched for almost 3 years until I found out the truth) yes, sept 2010 is when I found out. 😞 What a way to find out someone dear to me died. I didn't have any of her family members phone numbers for any contact information so I couldn't even call anyone I just had to keep searching online. It haunted me for years when I found out she died through the internet. And one of the searches I found was I believe it was one of her daughters that said please pray for us my mother committed suicide she was diagnosed with bipolar manic depressive and I just could not believe it. It's a shocking thing to find out that way I did, But I remember our last phone conversation..... I remember her saying you know I love you like a sister right? I said yes T I love you too! She said you're gonna find love don't worry I I said yes I know you will too! And she said NO NO! I'm done I'm done!!!! I will never forget those words, but I didn't think she was done with life. I Just figured it was being done with dating. I can tell you one thing, I had to be one of her last phone calls, that's how much T loved me. She told me on more than one occasion you're like my soul Sister. I went to hang out at her house one night and we watched two movies... Napoleon dynamite and Shaun of the dead and we just cracked up laughing, it was cool... then she played the song The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald and became in a trance...... (That song mentions 'November' a few times so I'm wondering if she planned it that way) She was going through some of her stuff and she asked me if I wanted any of her things. (A sign of her getting rid of things, but I had no idea)!!! She was showing me all different kinds of stuff and I just took one of her make up eye shadows which I still have.
She told me she went to cosmetology school so we went to the mall one day and she showed me what to get. So every single day she crosses my mind when I put on my make up. I'm so sorry that your daughters haven't talked to you Robert. That must be a very sad feeling. No one should blame you for something out of your control. I sincerely thank you for reaching out.... The other night I was looking for something I bookmarked and happened to click on this site (accidentally). So I figured I would sign on for the heck of it even though no one ever reached out to me and finding your letter and kind words were very comforting. Best regards, I soooo appreciate you taking the time to write. I hope you and your daughters can get together as it's not your fault what happened to Theresa. I have one more question and I know it's very morbid, but how did she kill herself? I just feel like I need to know. 🙏🏻 Thank you

Hello Susie-

No worries, and I understand all that you went through with Theresa...yeah, I think everyone missed that sign about her giving away all her stuff...she even had a small dog that she wound up giving away to someone.
The manner in which she died...well, as it turned out, she went online to do a search for different ways to end one's life...she happened upon a site which gave a formula for using different OTC meds to make a lethal cocktail...which is what she did. They went to do a wellness check on her and they found her on the floor near to where her computer was...the site where she found how to make that lethal OTC cocktail was up and running on the computer...that's how they figured out what she did. When they found her, she had been deceased for at least 48 hours. Before she passed, she sent her sibs and her daughters letters and packages with some items and a note to each of them. I will never forget, as long as I live, how difficult it was for me to tell our youngest daughter that her mom was gone. I hope never to have to repeat that...with anyone.
Susie, as far as reconciling with my daughters or anyone from Theresa's family, I have all but given up all hope of that ever happening. The misandry is so deeply ingrained in T's family it would take an absolute miracle to turn that around. But, that's not my call. Another problem that Theresa had was that everything had to be her way, down to the last crossed 't' and last dotted 'i'. And relationships don't work that way...she never understood that. I tell you, had things been different, had she received the help she needed and had she adjusted her attitude even a little bit, it is likely that she and I would have been together all these years later. But, that's moot now...you know what they say about hindsight...
Susie, I hope that you will take what I am about to tell you to heart...love and cherish yourself for the person that you are, always do for yourself and do the things that make you happy. Always make time for yourself...and please take care of yourself...because (and this is the point I am trying to make) if you can't love and take care of yourself first, how will you be able to show love and care to anyone who comes into your life? Theresa was never able to grasp that concept, and that is why her life ended the way it did.
I truly and honestly wish you all the best, Susie...and I am grateful Theresa had a friend like you in her life...I know you made a difference in her life, even if that difference was short-lived. If you ever need to chat away from here, I will give you my email...here it is:

[contact link]

If you ever need to chat, or have something on your mind that you need someone to be your 'sounding board', I am here. I wish you all the best, Susie. Keep your chin up, and carry on. And most importantly...be happy!!!

Regards

Robert M.

Thank you for the information. I feel like I have so much more closure than I ever did. All these years I have wondered how she did it and now at least I know what her last moments were. I Can't even imagine the feeling you had telling your daughters and how they had to grow up with their mother dying in that manner. 🙏🏻 I thank you from my heart for taking the time to give me the answers I desired for many years. I agree about taking care of ourselves first, it is so important. I wish you the absolute best you have a big heart to even reach out to explain some things and I'll forever be grateful! 🙏🏻 Yes, If I ever have any other questions I will definitely take you up on shooting you an email I hope you have a great night. Just know you've helped me a lot.