Marian Joyce (Benning) Kroetch (1930 - 2017)

This was written from Joyce to her grandchildren Daniel & Laynie in February 1991

Laynie and Daniel,

You have had a few questions, Daniel, about the "young" me and I'm sure Laynie will as she gets older, so I am putting my thoughts to paper now since I had incorporated the following into a letter I sent off recently.

My first love is music. The classics, because of growing up with them and my years of piano lessons, and the 1940s, war years with, as has been said, the most romantic music written. (My pre and teen years) But also, I try to see all the Broadway musicals that I am able - My One and Only (Tommy Tune and great Gershin music), Cats, Chorus Line; Pirates of Penzance and Annie (London's Drury Lane and Palace Theatres), and with luck, Les Miserables in June of this year. I ushered for two years at the Circle Star in Redwood City (late 1980s) and saw most of the "big names", Sinatra (great), Tom Jones (too noisy even in the Ladies' Room!), Willie Nelson - kick in the butt!, Johnny Cash, Kay Starr, Perry Como, Liberace, Roger Williams, Harry Belafonte (at the Center), Tony Bennett. These are probably singers that you will never know much about!

I love to travel - have spent 7 or 8 months in the British Isles (my favorite) and the Continent, Greece and Turkey. Most trips were alone - meet lots of the natives that way and I would just hop the train and go where it took me - with a little planning, of course. I enjoy talking to people - from teenagers to the 'old ones' - and met our relatives in Wales whom I have visited since. And Cousins Gwyneth and Jennifer have been over to visit us - when you were a little one, Daniel.

I'm a hard working employee, loyal, good supervisor and trainer, am trusted with much that is confidential, have a good working relationship with all levels of management, enjoy my position and can't wait to retire!! (Keep hoping I will win the Reader's Digest Contest and retire SOON.) If I ever won a lot of money I would buy all my friends the thing they wanted most, each of your mommys and myself a new car and depending on how much, a new house each plus a nice savings account for each of you and lot of money to Martha's Kitchen to feed the hungry!

My greatest joys are my daughters and grandchildren (that's you!) - we're close (I think), can discuss anything - and often do. Probably my greatest 'passion' are the 49ers. I've been a rabid fan since 1950 or 51 and my close friends know better than to telephone me when they are playing because I probably won't answer. But, of course, your moms and I call back and forth on a particularly good play!

My greatest regret was my 2nd marriage and my only envy is a happily married couple. After the 2nd divorce I was so fed up, slightly bitter and afraid that I could not have fun with anyone and, worse yet, no one could have fun with me. Then I met my dear friend 'K' and we had such a wonderful time - so much laughter and closeness - and he died. I really couldn't bear to see anyone else for too many years. And now I've been alone for 15 years which has been long enough to become opinionated, stubborn, and used to doing things one way - MY way!

My other regret is not being able to have had more children. I love them, found them a joy to raise, and would have really enjoyed having foster children. When I worked at Juvenile Probation in the early 70s I wanted to bring half of the kids in the Hall home with me. Later I found I could have a couple but felt I should have a stable man around - not just a home with a working woman.

I'm interested in politics and have usually voted democrat - or independent. Republicans are too concerned with big business, money - and to heck with the people. Cried buckets when the Kennedys were assassinated but then I'm a little soft that way - wand worse with animals (not the eating kind).

One of my 'fun' days would be to curl up with a good book, good music playing, watch a raging storm, have a nice fire (of course, I don't have a fireplace). I enjoy working in the garden - puttering, really - entertaining, cooking (I am a good cook - or at least used to be. Mexican, Italian, German, Chinese, ENglish pancakes or plain old American). Will have to teach one or both of you how to make the English pancakes and you already make good enchiladas, Daniel.

I dislike: hypocrites, gossips, oysters, rudeness, liver, negativity, guns, pessimism, alcoholism and drugs, inconsideration and rudeness or anyone, turnips, discrimination, inequality among the sexes,

I like: antiques, teddy bears, art & wine shows, owls, exploring country roads, movies with happy endings, ballgames of any kind, hotdogs, walking on the beach, collecting shells (collecting most anything!), black olives, ice cream, coconut cake, dogs and cats and mice and guinea pigs, and flowers of all kinds.

Grandma