Lashae Sinclair

Hi there! My name is Lashae Sinclair, I'm 34 years old, I am divorced from my ex husband in 2008 whom I was in a relationship with for just over 12 years, we had 2 beautiful son's now aged 16 (17 in two weeks) and a 9 year old.
I live in Collingwood with my partner/Fiance Simon McCabe, We met on the 29th of April 2011 and we have been together since then. Simon proposed on the 23rd of April 2013!
We aren't in a hurry to get married!! We have so many things we want to do! Which even includes hopefully Simon reversing his vasectomy so we can have a child of our own!!
I've studied Psychology and Counselling years ago but due to illness and financial reasons I wasn't able to finish but I plan to start again soon, I'm looking at doing a double diploma in counselling and community services, This field of work interests me immensley as I've lived an extremely colourful life from living through and surviving over 15 years of domestic violence, battling a drug addiction, Suffering an eating disorder anorexia and bulimia, I was a teen mum! I got pregnant at the age of 16 and had my beautiful son Jayden by the time I turned 17! (Never regretted my decision to keep my baby!! Life didn't end! Life just began! I've battled with mental illness for many years mainly anxiety, depression and P.T.S.D (Post traumatic stress disorder) From the years of severe violence and abuse that I enduered. (When I pass away there will be records detailing my mental health history which paints a very extreme version of what was really going on and shows a diagnosis which not only do I dispute but so have many doctors since my addition to Upton house psych ward back in 2011! Finally doctors in the last few years have agreed that the proper diagnosis should have been and is now Post traumatic stress disorder and battered women's syndrome. Defiantly not paranoid schizophrenia like was stated back in 2011. I have had the nagging feeling and absolute urge to point this out and make sure this is noted somewhere in cyber space purely for my future grandchildren and other family for the time when they look through their family tree!! Over my dead body did I want to be seen as the 'crazy psych relative' !!! Not that anyone should be ashamed of mental illness by any means! But I've had a tough enough time in this life coping with my good name being dragged through the mud by a certain ex partner. This also goes for any family court documents that may be viewed in years to come, which I should also state for anyone who reads these documents in future to NOT believe everything you read!!! Yes I made some mistakes in my time but I am nothing like the person that my ex husband accuses me to be! I'm nothing like what was accused 90℅ of what was accused was absolute bullshit!! He was very good at what he did, He set out to ruin my life after I found the courage to leave and divorce him! So unfortunately somehow this dangerous spiteful man gained custody of our children! And along the way he has managed to destroy any efforts of mine to get my children back, My kids have been with him for 5 years now and as much as I'd love nothing more than to have custody of my children, for my children's sake I wouldnt turn their lives upside down again, As much of an a****** my ex was and is to me he doesn't physically abuse our children.
Also I'm grateful my kids weren't put into foster care.
So my situation isnt ideal but My ex husband can and has provided numerous opportunities for my kids due to being a lot better off financially.
Due to loosing custody to my kids in 2009, my life just crumbled! Every part of me felt like I died, My life had just ended, I knew what I was up against with my ex husband and he told me he promised me I would NEVER get custody of our children again and even I knew no matter what I did he would make sure he would stop me in anyway possible & so far he has.
But look that's a huge story in itself and hopefully in the next two years I'll have finished writing my autobiography which will show my ordeal. Believe me there's so much to my life that I'm so desperate to put down in words on the pages of my book, I need to share my story and tell my side because so much c*** has been spread around, so many lies, so much pain and hurt from the terror and dangerous life I lived through, There's only a handful of people that know half of what I went through the rest just know and believe all the lies and twisted truth that was put to them, The older I've gotten the less I've cared what others think about me which was a great healing remedy for me on one hand but for a while now I've thought about what has been put to my kids and I just think of the ulyears my ex has had to paint me in the worst picture and I'd hate to pass away and leave my kids to believe all the s*** that's been said about me. So no I can't let that happen!! I was a f******* fantastic mother to my children!!! At least I know my family can vouch for that!! For some teens becoming a teen mum is just to much to bare, but I took it on as if I was born to be a mother, My own mother was amazed with how I took motherhood on at the early age of 17! In so many ways having my son, I believe saved my life.
With the extreme violence I was living through if I wasn't killed the depression would have led me to suicide, but looking at my son just gave me the strength to keep living!!
After loosing custody of my sons I truly thought my life was over, I came close numerous times to ending it all!
But again its the thought of my boys that has stopped me and with life looking like I'm finally getting somewhere, and then hearing my kids voices, seeing their faces and then thinking of actually getting a new home this year with my partner which will be suitable for my kids to come and stay whenever they like , basically giving them a second home....I've finally found a reason to smile!!
So needless to say with the life I've lived I am more than able to help at least someone else out there, No one should endure the things I have & I'm not the first and certainly won't be the last unfortunately, So I want to create awareness for all the things I mentioned above!!
I'm grateful for this site and others such as ansestory.com and my heratige for giving me a starting point to put the details of myself, my life and my family so I can put my version of events and create a stepping stone for the future generations to discover their family history and because this page and others gives the opportunity to leave details of myself its such a huge relief that I can at least when the time comes pass away knowing I was able to finally tell my story and hopefully I'm not seen as a crazy psycho drug addicted horrible mother like my ex would prefer people to remember me as!! (Oh and yes he would deny this absolutely!! The person and the front he puts on for the outside world is not the man that's been making my life sheer hell for near 20 years) but anyway at the end of the day I'm not documenting my side just so I can put down the father of my kids, its not my intention but my book is simply just my chance to finally breaking the silence, Victims and survivors of physical and any type of abuse will no doubt totally understand what I mean, as we are silenced for the entire time of our ordeal and often so long after we escape, so having the chance to finally speak up and tell our story is the next best thing to surviving the violence!
And look me adding myself to this site isn't just about clearing my name and talking about myself!! Ive had even more of a kick in the a** to start putting my story out there as two years ago i was struck down with pnumonia and endocharditis. I had a bug on my heart eating away at my heart valve and i had ten absesses on my lungs, i never fully recovered its been nearly two years since my two month stay in St Vincents Hospital and my breating has just continued to get worse! I learnt at my last check up one year ago that i actually lost half my lung!! It died on me!! Wtf?!! Stupid body!! Why did it have to fail me!! Anyway i saw my doctor last week and was given the bad news that i have chronic heart and lung disease!!! F*** im absolutly petrified!! I dont want to die! Not now im just starting to get my life going christ im only 34!! So yeah thats definantly spured me on to start documenting as much as i can just incase i dont have long to live :(
Also I think its so so interesting learning about your family history!! Already after a few days of research I've discovered so much about my family history its just amazing!!
I'm so intrigued!! Also please if your one of my relatives please by all means contact me!! By email [contact link] or Facebook search for Myss Lash
I really look forward to hearing from any of you!!
Also I'll add my personal website where I share some of my stories, and in the near future I'll add my autobiography!!